I’ve noticed a number of Facebook posts, twitter updates, and in person conversations in the last week about draft day taking place. And that is draft day for fantasy football.
male person* who is drafting for a fantasy league: you should make a goal to spend as much time cooking healthy food, and going to the gym as you do preparing your roster and shit talking. Then you will start to more closely embody the physiques of those who you are drafting.
Now, I hate to break it to you, but you will not ever be those players. You know this, but it doesn’t mean you need to allow yourself to be the stereotypical football fan: fat, drunk, sloppy, unhealthy.
Now….I’m not saying don’t play fantasy football. I’m just saying don’t ONLY play fantasy football. Join a flag football league, Join the gym, get a trainer, and prepare for that league. You know what is way better than cheering for your fantasy team’s quarterback throwing a TD…YOU THROWING A TD! Get excited and goosebumps when you see training montages of the teams in the weight room or on the field…GO DO THAT YOURSELF!
If you’re in San Diego, get a group of your buddies and come out and get your fantasy football league signed up for a BootyCamp. Yeah, asses aren’t just for women these days! See this ESPN article, the CALL OF BOOTY. In these private group classes, we’ll run agility drills, plyometrics, and perform many other strength and conditioning drills to prepare you for game day-so at the minimum when you paint your chest it’s not ironically funny, it is in fact just impressive.
*I was given the tip by Steph Greunke, that women are increasingly getting into the fantasy football world. So the same rules apply, equal your fantasy football time with healthy food prep and exercise.
I love fantasy football. It’s a great cue that women can use to rapidly lower their rating of other dudes. Spectators are seen as low-status by social primates, including monkeys (human or otherwise).